So Much to Discuss

I placed this on my fireplace mantle in my bedroom shortly after the attack.

Starting this blog was both an exciting idea and an overwhelming one. I have so much to say and share with you all. Please know that I just want to help remove the shame, fear or trepidation that comes with sharing a story about sexual assault. And I want to shed light on overseas prosecution by taking you through all the big and little things I encountered. Prosecuting an assault overseas is a very challenging experience, but one that was worth it for me. Also, I believe it was the right thing to do. I want to share my experience with humor, compassion and a level of detail that hopefully provides you with encouragement and new information.

In my wildest dreams, this blog serves as the starting point for an eventually robust resource for women who are currently prosecuting overseas, or who are contemplating it, or know someone that is.  To that end, here is a list I’ve been keeping these past two years of things I’d want to share with others. These are things that while I was going through them struck me as “Wow! I have to tell people about this.”

  • Evidence Collection
  • U.S. Embassy/State Department – what they can and can’t do for you
  • Telling the Truth – and keeping an accurate record of the attack
  • Police Questioning/Report – the process I went through and what I’d recommend if ever you have to give one overseas
  • The Aftermath – when you realize your life has changed dramatically
  • Stupid Sh*t People Say to You – and why, for the most part, you have to let it go
  • Paperwork Processing – good times.
  • Public Prosecutor Interview – it was grueling, stressed me out, but was worth the $1100 I spent to go to it
  • Going to a Hospital Overseas – I had a lot of fear about this and the costs
  • Self-Defense – the many things that I remembered that helped me during the assault
  • Psychology – how to help yourself because making sure you are OK is the only thing you should be worrying about
  • Overseas Prosecution – how it differs from domestic prosecution and all the fun challenges such as time zones, a snail’s pace mail system and deciphering my Italian attorney’s broken English emails.
  • The Search For Information – and I mean SEARCH.
  • Italian Law – how it differs from our understanding of the judicial process and is no better or worse.
  • Work – the issues of keeping your focus at work, sharing your experience with your boss
  • Asking For Help – hard to do, but definitely a good idea…and I mean, be shameless.
  • Costs and Your State’s Victim’s Assistance Fund 
  • Faith – do you believe in angels?  I promise you, two of them came to me the day of my attack.
  • Dating – it’s not exactly easy to mention your assault case to a new beau.
  • Your Amazing  Body – and how it does Amazing things
  • Humor – finding it and keeping your sanity
  • How This Experience Changed Me – how could it not? for starters, I am writing a blog about how I was assaulted.
  • My Efforts to Get This Story Published and Why – I know the coolest gal and she was a blessing in her assistance to get my story told

These are just some of the issues I hope we can explore. I don’t just want to speak at you; I hope to hear from you (at and have a dialogue. If none of this appeals to you, or if you all tell me you want to discuss other topics, then that’s what we will do.

QUOTE: “The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it.” – comedienne Roseanne Barr (Women’s Wit and Wisdom; Running Press)

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