Question: Want to know what’s the best thing about telling the truth? Answer: It never changes. No one can poke holes in the truth. As I mentioned in my The Aftermath post, at the recommendation of a coworker, I made an effort to record everything I could possibly remember: the good, bad and ugly. And I hid nothing. I wrote in detail about every time and location he kissed me (four times total, always and only in public), every drop of alcohol I had and when (2.5 glasses over the span of 8 hours, with a massive pasta dinner in between), every thought I had and when and why. Yes, I didn’t love admitting I let him kiss me in his abrupt, sloppy manner, but it was the truth.
My report grew to 9 pages, single-spaced, 11 pt. type. And you know what? It revealed things to me that I am not certain I would have realized on my own. I realized that he was brought to my attention by the cafe owner (and for that reason, I was not on guard), that the trip to the studio was meant to impress me, the date later on was at a place where everyone knew and liked him (meant to put me at ease), that he kissed me only in public (so there would be witnesses), that he gained my trust by giving me his ID card and by not pawing me the first time I visited his apartment…and later on once he again had me isolated, he tried to get me drunk, high, and, I believe, planned to drown out my screaming with the music he was blaring.
Seeing this all on paper made me ever more certain that I needed to go after him. It was just too calculated. I believe the only way to understand the HOW and WHY this happened is to lay it all out there on paper. Not just for your own understanding, but so that you always have a record of your story and never have to deviate from it. Also, time fades memories. Let it be the ultimate account of what happened to you.
A note on lying: I don’t recommend it. It’s inevitable that going down the path of lying will only lead to inconsistencies and troubles you don’t need when you are already up against so much. And I’m not talking about big lies. I’m talking about the ones you might want to tell because you are embarrassed or worried about a particular detail of the crime. For example, even though alcohol played no role for me in the attack, if I had denied that I had a glass of wine because I thought it would “help” my story, one witness account of me having wine would have then placed a seed of doubt in the prosecutor’s mind about my credibility. Even if that lie was about something that didn’t change anything in the truth about what Marco did to me, the hit on my credibility would have been hard to recover from.
Look what lies did for Marco. In his official statement (I will share this in detail in a future post), he said he never touched me. So how then was there broken jewelry, broken potted plants, my nose busted and my blood on his clothes? He got tripped up in his own words.
I’m just saying…leave the lying to criminals such as Marco and let them screw themselves; you’ve got more important things to focus on, like kicking your attacker’s ass in court. You are a superstar and superstars don’t need to do anything other than say, “This is what happened to me; this is exactly what took place.”
QUOTE: “I think the one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention.” – Diane Sawyer (Women’s Wit and Wisdom; Runner’s Press)