As we continue to be bombarded with disclosure after sickening disclosure of sexual abuse and assault, I want to provide the WHY to anyone here who is struggling with the natural instinct to question the victims. It’s the foundation of my Language of Violence presentation and what I found most disturbing once I started training and working as a victims advocate years ago:
“Rather than embarrass an abuser, society is subconsciously trained to question a victim of abuse.”
That is a sentence in this article in Time magazine about the ex-wife of a White House aide who she says physically abused her. Some very unfortunate words were used by our President last week that played right into the decades old habit of questioning the veracity of victims unless they have mounds and mounds of video, photo and recorded evidence – an impossible standard to meet for a crime that is always hidden. And it serves as a reminder as to why three women are murdered every day in this country by their abusers, and why 15 of 16 rapists never spend a day in jail.