Gone

I wanted to end this most gorgeous of weekends with a special tribute to a woman who left this world far too soon. A dear co-worker passed suddenly this week, and the shockwaves and sadness it has sent through all who knew her is testament to our difficulty in grasping the “why” of it. She was only 29 and just a lovely person. And it stings, the unfairness of her untimely passing.

When someone dies, we often see in the death that which hits home with us. In her death, I was reminded of the feeling I had when I thought I was about to suffer awful things at Marco’s hands and when I slipped backward down the roof while escaping, thinking I would die. All I could think of was that I would never see my family or friends again. It slammed into my brain, an unthinkable and horrifying thought which was also the loneliest feeling I had ever had, too. I could not fathom not seeing them again. Could. Not.

To know that this sweet girl most likely had that same thought, wrenches my heart, because I know how awful a feeling it is to think that. And I HATE so much that it turns out she did not ever get to see them again. I HATE it for her family.

So, this weekend, I walked around my new town and thought so much of her as it was beautiful out and everything seemed bursting with life. It soothed me and took the edge off the gut punch of the previous few days. And in a way, a very real, tangible way, it seemed a fitting tribute to her that the sun was shining and flowers and trees were abundant with petals and blooms. Pretty and gentle, just like her.